So, I haven't had this many thoughts in a really long time. For the past two weeks I have had time to do nothing but relax, get over a never ending cold and be with those I truly love and adore. I feel like I have had numerous experiences this break where I have just sat and been in complete awe of all the Lord is doing and teaching me.
A few of my many thoughts this past break:
- I am going to Gulu, Uganda Africa in about four months. Can I just say how much of a peace I feel about this? I am going with the most wonderful, trusted people with a vision of love and hope for this community. It excites me to think of how much the Lord will be using us. I am so thrilled and anxious to be serving others thousands of miles away, BUT how am I serving in Riverside? I have lived here my entire life, therefore I should have a huge advantage of "knowing" the city. Seeing the hurt and heartache, knowing the suffering that goes on just miles away from my house. HOW can I be serving them? HOW can I be loving my neighbors? I have been so bothered by the fact that I am doing nothing with this. Whether it is Africa or Central Ave I want to be loving others by serving.
- Imperfection. Now to all who truly know me, I am a perfectionist. There are often times I wish I could do everything right, never make mistakes, just plain and simple be perfect. I laugh at this because of just how imperfect i am. But, I can finally say it: I LOVE imperfection!!! How refreshing is it when someone isn't perfect and is broken to the state of humbleness. It reminds me that the Lord is the only perfect one, and if we were perfect we wouldn't need him. In the past few days I have smiled at everyones flaws and the pure fact that the Lord has given us all of them. Although yes, I will continue to try to refine them, I will embrace all of my imperfections.
- I am a girl. Yes, Yes it is true. So with that being said, we all have insecurities. Every girl wants to be called some sort of beautiful. This past weekend, Jessy Worster and I went on a road trip to Northern California. Because it takes almost seven hours to get there we had plenty of time to talk, which we both happen to be extremely good at. But, in our best friendship of five years she said something that will always stick out to me.
Picture this: A couple is walking down the street . . . they see him, he is extremely handsome and then they see her- not as striking. Some wonder why he is with her? But then they get to know her, they see her heart, her passion and dedication to the Lord, her realness and want to help others. She becomes the most beautiful women they have ever seen.
When Jessy said this to me I froze (which probably wasn't the wisest idea when driving down the grapevine) but this is someone Jessy and I both desire to be. We want to be beautiful because THE LORD makes us this way. I keep thinking to myself just how much beauty does fade, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Thank You Proverb 31!)
I know. I feel like these are so many of my thoughts all thrown out here, but the Lord has been constantly at work each day showing me something new, both good and bad. I feel ever so blessed though and I am thinking 2010 will be a beautiful year.
:)
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