Here am I.

I MISS MY PARENTS.

My beautiful loving parents are currently on a well deserved vacation to Alaska with all of their best friends.They have been gone for nearly a week and I am so eager for their return! It's funny. My parents are not only "my parents" but two of my very best friends. I am so thankful I am there daughter. I am so thankful we are close. I am so thankful we go on hikes, breakfast at Panera, three musketeer dates to the movies. I MISS THEM!

On a side note my Myers-Briggs test says I am a ENFJ.

"ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this."

- Portrait of an ENFJ (The Personality Page)

Everything stated above in my personality traits are surrounded around people. YUP! I absolutely love people. Who would have guessed? These past couple weeks though have been an up and down cycle for me. In reality, I love people. I also love (& need!) my alone time. I have enjoyed having large amounts of both these past few weeks. I am starting to get stir crazy though. I find it ironic that I feel so lonely at times and yet the Creator of the Universe calls me to him each and everyday! He tells us all how loved, adored, WORTHY we are. He wants all of us. He wants us to be available. He wants our hearts. My main thought?

Why are we not giving it to our KING? The Alpha Omega!

Are we crazy?

I am currently reading "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore. (Okay, seriously. She is incredible!) I read over the section called BENEFITS AND OBSTACLES this afternoon. She gave five benefits and obstacles to our journey with the Lord.

Five Benefits:

1. To know God and believe Him

2. To glorify God

3. To find satisfaction in God

4. To experience God's peace

5. To enjoy God's presence

With that, Moore also provided five obstacles that may hinder us from doing so:

Five Obstacles:

1. Unbelief, which hinders knowing God

2. Pride, which prevents us from glorifying God

3. Idolatry, which keeps us from being satisfied with God

4. Prayerlessness, which blocks our experience of God's peace

5. Legalism, which stops our enjoyment of God's presence

I don't know about yourself, but I have struggled with all five. + five more than that. + twenty more than that. I know that God gives us the tools to get out. He provides his word as a tool for us to understand, have peace and help us along our journey in life.

I sit here thinking to myself

"Where in the world would I be without my Lord Jesus?"

I have absolutely no idea. It's a scary thought. It truly is.

also:

http://www.moodyministries.net/crp_SpecialStoryDetail.aspx?id=30116

John and Jenny Meeker came to speak at our college group last night. Their ministry in Croatia is absolutely amazing!

blessings.

What do I have if I don't have you Jesus?

God is so good.

God is so good, God is so good.

He's so good to me.

If you have eyes to see

or a little boy next to you

or if you have someone to call a friend

if you felt the warm sunlight in your face today

or saw the blue sky and laughed

you must know what it means to sing

'God is so good.'

if you know what it feels like to laugh with God,

to have fallen flat on your face

and have Him reach out and

say I still love you, take my hand;

to feel Him lift your guilt,

to ease your pain,

to have Him soothe your tired, worn, broken heart,

then you must understand how good He is

so sing with me,

God is so good.

Good is so good, God is so good.

He's so good to me.

i love Him so,

i love Him so, i love Him so.

He's so good to me.

- Ann Kiemel

I am blessed.
As summer is coming to an end, with only three weeks remaining, I start looking back at everything I was able to experience:
I have had the opportunity to look inside an African hut and pray over thirty six orphans who have a faith in God that makes 1 Timothy 4:12 come to life. I have been blessed enough to work at Cal Baptist each and everyday. Building relationships with many of my co-workers. I was able to spend quality time with my garden friend river rafting, and watching three family friends get baptized in the Curn river! I got to visit Amy and Chase (who are now having a baby girl!!!). I jumped from Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina in a two week period. It quickly became one of my favorite vacations. Traveling up to Ponderosa Pines to see my beautiful junior high girls became a night of understanding and love for these thirteen and fourteen year olds. Enjoying a craft night and Henna party, seeing how the power of prayer and a passion in my heart be answered. Going into the heat of California for a necessary road trip to see one of my future roommates. We laughed, I cried, new friendships were made. Mission Beach, San Diego and Salvation Mountain were seen! Swing dancing quickly becoming the newest rage at Coffee Depot Monday nights. Cal Baptist friends and I twirled and danced along to the music. A tradition being made. Seeing an old friend who has served the Lord all summer in the Middle East, learning of His faithfulness and beauty shown throughout all nations. Spending two hours at the local IHOP, asking for too many lemons with a twelve year old girl who amazes me with her devotion to the Lord more and more each time we get together.

If I can't sing 'God is so good' now, when will I ever be able to?

These happen to be some of the moments I have had this summer

where I say to myself,

'God is so good.'

. . . GOD IS GOOD!

He is so good to me.

At times I tend to do focus on all the negatives, rather than positives. I know for a fact that Satan is trying to distract us from fully serving the Lord. He is constantly telling us we don't have enough, we are not good enough, we are too sinful and not worthy of God's forgiveness. The newest challenge to myself is every time I feel negative about the situation, first and foremost I pray. But also, FIND a good in it. There are positives everywhere and constant reminders of God's love. It can simply be a beautiful sunny day out, an amazing conversation with a friend or worship time on the swings near your house.

"Let the heavens praise your wonders, O Lord, your faithfulness in the assembly of the holy ones! For who in the skies can be compared to the Lord? Who among the heavenly beings is like the Lord, a God greatly to be feared in the council of the holy ones, and awesome above all who are around him? O Lord God of hosts, who is mighty as you are, O Lord, with your faithfulness all around you?" Psalm 89: 5-7

I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Definitions of Expectations:

• expectation - belief about (or mental picture of) the future
• expectation - anticipation: anticipating with confidence of fulfillment

I expect a lot. I expect a lot out of myself, others around me, ministries, the church, my family. Do you see how the definition of expectations and my own personal expectations could be a conflict with one another? I tend to place situations on an extremely high pedastool and when my expectations are not met, I get sad. Side note: I am typically never mad, very few occasions will I be angry with someone. I get sad though, my sensitive spirit comes upon me and tears will most likely attend. Lately, I have been in thought about how much this must affect other people. When I expect something, and in return don't receive it . . do I treat others with respect? In reality, these people are completely clueless that I was even "hoping" for something. My daydreams get the best of me, and reality doesn't settle in. Realistically, this is probably the best case for everyone too. I tend to try to control the situation, rather then allow the Lord to use me in his timing.

Almost three weeks ago I traveled to the South to visit some absolutely wonderful people I treasure.

For the few fours days I visited my beautiful sister Amy and Chase Kuhn.

A majority of my life I have seen them as the "perfect couple". I have looked up to them in almost very areas of their lives. Learning, growing, observing, loving, seeking Christ in every aspect of their lives. They want to glorify him in all they do. I have been able to see them do this specifically through there marriage. Admiring them from fifth grade-on, they have set an example for me in love and purity. Amy is now PREGNANT. I cannot explain the absolute joy and thankfulness I have that the Lord has provided them with a beautiful baby.

Traveling through the South I got to go see Kevin Douglas Naylor. I am very lucky to call him my wonderful boyfriend. When I think of my relationship with him I literally just think I am always with my best friend. I never imagined I would be blessed enough with a guy who truly loved the Lord more than anything, who fit my personality, quirky sense of humor and constant love for frozen yogurt. Know me, I of course went to the South with expectations. Knowing, yes, I would be overwhelmed with meeting tons of new people, exciting new sites and everywhere Kev has grown up almost frightened me. I left with all of my expectations blown out of the water. (which in reality does not typically happen.) I left liking him more and understanding him a lot more.

Going hiking was one of my favorite parts of the entire trip. I was able to meet some of Kevin's closest friends. Jonathan Cudney and Kristen Allen are two absolutely wonderful people. I felt so at ease with with their personalities. I felt blessed to have such an amazing conversation with Kristen. I love how friendships can be made anywhere, but it's the friendships within the Lord truly last. It's the body of Christ that we need! Friendships in the Lord: honesty, accountability, being prayerful, questions, having the other persons best interest in mind. I felt so blessed that although, yes I was the outsider I was loved by everyone around me. It made me feel very appreciative.

Here are a few of my highlights through some photos. :)

Photos are my friend, as you can see.

Ironically enough, I left feeling more in love with Christ being there. As I had previously stated we went up into the beautiful mountains overlooking parts of North Carolina. I sat on a very large rock looking out unto the waterfalls, massive amount of trees and the sound of birds singing. All I could do was think of Job 38.

"Can you lift up your voice to the clouds, that a flood of waters may cover you? Can you send forth lightnings, that they may go and say to you, 'Here we are'" Who has put wisdom in the inward parts or given understanding to the mind? Who can number the clouds by wisdom? Or can tilt the waterskins of the heavens, when the dust runs into a mass and the clods stick fast together?" job 38:34-38.

Do we not see it?? God has created everything. Absolutely everything. From Riverside, California to Charlotte, North Carolina all the way to Gulu, Uganda. He has created the clouds, rain drops, morning sunrise, mountains, pacific ocean. ME & YOU! As I sat on the beautiful boulder all I could do was sit in awe.

One of my favorite memories was when Kevin and I went to a lovely coffee shop called Amelie's. We sat there for a few hours and just read Genesis out loud to one another. After each chapter we wrote our questions, and then later discussed. It was literally everything I love: coffee, wonderful music, a soft spot for my bootay, reading the word and learning. With this I also learned something that will forever come in handy. HOW TO CORRECTLY READ THE BIBLE. <- funny statement? perhaps it is. But, although I have been to church my entire life I have never understood how to accurately read the Bible.

So I was taught. Here is how I will know be reading the word, along with much zeal because I finally understand it!!

- Read.

- Read AGAIN.

- Observe ( make as many observations as possible)

- Ask two questions:

1. What does this teach me about God?

2. How does this point to Christ?

- Make sure to read the entire context.

- Don't imply!

- When studying a verse, phrase, or word in the Bible, find another verse to back it up. In order that you may have more clarity in your understanding of it. 

After being taught this I just sat there. Seriously!!! It's not that I have taken the Bible for granted or always read it incorrectly, but there is so much more truth and understanding when you fully get both WHY we read the Bible and how to do so correctly!

Although I expect a lot and at times with the curse of this I get disappointed. I am learning to just expect that the Lord will reveal his way if I am close to him, serving him, striving to do his WILL in my life. If I expect God to do BIG things, I know he will. If I expect to always be 100% happy and satisfied, I wont be. I understand this. I also understand that I serve a God who loves us all. We are able to experience this if we simply look around. Look at the roses in the garden, the sunset I see to the right of me or simply an amazing friendship that is focused on the Lord. I not only know that God is good, but expect him to do GREAT THINGS.