here i go.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Unfailing love.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Here am I.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
What do I have if I don't have you Jesus?
I am blessed.
As summer is coming to an end, with only three weeks remaining, I start looking back at everything I was able to experience:
I have had the opportunity to look inside an African hut and pray over thirty six orphans who have a faith in God that makes 1 Timothy 4:12 come to life. I have been blessed enough to work at Cal Baptist each and everyday. Building relationships with many of my co-workers. I was able to spend quality time with my garden friend river rafting, and watching three family friends get baptized in the Curn river! I got to visit Amy and Chase (who are now having a baby girl!!!). I jumped from Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina in a two week period. It quickly became one of my favorite vacations. Traveling up to Ponderosa Pines to see my beautiful junior high girls became a night of understanding and love for these thirteen and fourteen year olds. Enjoying a craft night and Henna party, seeing how the power of prayer and a passion in my heart be answered. Going into the heat of California for a necessary road trip to see one of my future roommates. We laughed, I cried, new friendships were made. Mission Beach, San Diego and Salvation Mountain were seen! Swing dancing quickly becoming the newest rage at Coffee Depot Monday nights. Cal Baptist friends and I twirled and danced along to the music. A tradition being made. Seeing an old friend who has served the Lord all summer in the Middle East, learning of His faithfulness and beauty shown throughout all nations. Spending two hours at the local IHOP, asking for too many lemons with a twelve year old girl who amazes me with her devotion to the Lord more and more each time we get together.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.
- expectation - belief about (or mental picture of) the future
- expectation - anticipation: anticipating with confidence of fulfillment
Monday, June 21, 2010
Steadfast.
The week after I got back from my trip to Uganda, Africa we had a guest speaker at my church, The Grove. Dr. David Thompson. He grew up as a missionary kid in the Philippines, when college started he left his parents on the mission field and came back to America. One evening he received one of the worst phone calls any person could ever receive. His parents were both killed as martyrs. He told the story that he got unto the ground in complete despair and confusion. His parents had been serving the Lord on the mission field almost their entire lives and were killed in the area they most loved. In tears, Dr. Dave continued saying how there were only two options in his life to do that night: forget God, or trust God.
“What are some of the most important treasures in your life?”
Now, imagine one day these people, these things, these situations were no longer there. Death occurred, a massive fire, you were fired . . . the list goes on and on. But simply stated, “Do you trust God?”
I then thought to myself: Do I trust God? Do I trust God with my relationship with Kev? Do I trust God with my money? Do I trust God with my future job and living location? Do I trust God to do bigger things in my life than I ever imagined? Do I trust God that he will place people in my life to encourage and be encouraged by?
DO I TRUST GOD?
Most days I would say yes, those are the days the sun is shining through the thick marshmallow like clouds and the grass is ever so green. But, would I trust God if destruction were to come upon the airport I am currently sitting in?
Trust is a funny word. I always think about that game I use to play at church when I was younger. Someone would go behind me; I would shut my eyes and fall into there arms. Total complete TRUST. If the person behind me had not earned my trust, or had been not been consistent, there is NO chance I would allow them to touch me- let alone, catch me. When I think about the times in my life when I was falling back, unto the unknown, feeling alone, overly dramatic, insecure and in envy the only ultimate person to catch me was God. He was steadfast, he was consistent, and he was love. I know you are thinking, “Wow, can Allison be anymore cliché?” Perhaps I am but in reality and in my heart I know that without a doubt this is true.
I just don’t understand God. I have a boyfriend. I have best friends. I am trying, but I’m just not happy. Why can’t I give you all of me? What is holding me back? Why do I feel dissatisfied? What is missing?? . . .
As I reflect on this journal I wrote almost three years ago, I look to how distrusting I was. I said I was “living for God” BUT my main purpose in life was not to glorify God to the highest extent. It was not to proclaim his name across all names. My main purpose in life was to satisfy my needs, my wants, and my problems. Which brings me to the point that as believers we were not designed for God to make us 100% happy, or to fulfill our innermost desires. But rather to make his name above all else. This is our purpose, our will in life.
Dr. David Thompson ended his message with the closing story to his parents death, the people they had been trying to lead to Christ for the past six years previous to there death saw how they died for God. And they in return accepted Christ into their lives as their personal savior. The night Dr. Dave placed all trust in God, lead him to a place of saying he not only believed God but now actually TRUSTED in God. And he never looked back.
“We will not be able to do any of this until we learn to love God more than we love ourselves.”
From the South, Amen Bo!
Friday, May 28, 2010
My Redeemer Lives.
I have officially been home for three whole days now. Three days from a place I never expected, three days from a place that is the complete 180 degrees opposite from our everyday life. Uganda, Africa.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
What has happened to all of your joy?
In just four days I will officially be down with my first year of college.
The first day going into CBU I truly had no idea what to expect. I did expect to make friends quickly, to be in some sort of club or flag football team, to be a Junior High leader at The Grove, try harder then I ever have in school and just "be different"
The first day going to CBU I cried. I was terrified, I was lonely, frustrated that I had not met anyone in the first month. By the end of each day in September I wondered if I was ever going to meet a solid friend who could encourage me in the way I needed. BUT my favorite part about the first three months of school was the fact that I truly had to depend on Christ, alone. I am so thankful for my Monday-Wednesday-Friday 9am open spot where I could go to the rose garden and lay my heart in front of the Lord. I was taken to a place of loneliness but was filled in the Spirit. I was given hope and joy. It is there that I started reading Proverbs each and everyday.
and I have never been so blessed.
Over the course of these past eight months I have learned more than I would have ever imagined. A few nights ago Bethany Tucker, Morgan Mentzer and myself went to the lovely 24hr Starbucks and just discussed. Each one of us in a different place in our lives but still so captivated by God. This past year has brought upon sad days, pure joy, laughter, tear fest's, temptations and sins we have made BUT we stopped and realized that through it all we have grown in Christ, striving to be more and more like him.
Here is a list of things I have learned these past eight months. Each one was a huge humbling experience or slap in the face, but I was and am being refined by The Lord through each and every one of them.
--- The biggest thing I have learned this year is how satan is in absolutely everything. He is trying to trap each one of us in all areas of life. He knows US. He knows our temptations, insecurities, frustrations and anger and because of this he is trying to pull us down telling us we are not good enough, our mistakes our too terrible and we have no self worth. BUT we must remember we have hope! The past few weeks a few friends of mine and myself have been reading "Romans 6, 7 and 8" Everything about these chapters are beautiful.
"For we know that our old self was crucified with him, so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin" Romans 6:6
"You have been set free from sin and become slaves to righteousness." Romans 6: 18
AND WE HAVE HOPE!
"In the same way, the spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26.
Seriously though, we can no longer be ashamed. If we have been saved by Christ we are washed clean, renewed and called into the Kingdom of God. He has died for all of US, sinners alike.