I have officially been home for three whole days now. Three days from a place I never expected, three days from a place that is the complete 180 degrees opposite from our everyday life. Uganda, Africa.
As I reflect on my past three weeks in an entirely different continent and life style I go to the five senses.
Uganda-
Smells like: Hardworking earned sweat, burning trash, rain after 4pm.
Looks like: National Geographic. Babies bare butts, women breast feeding everywhere, well built huts, white ants, greenery, trash burning, very expressionless people.
Tastes like: Rice, beans, potatoes, liver, top-up- Anything starch related goes. with mangos. lots of mangos!
Sounds like: Calls of desperation, My Redeemer lives, wailing, children begging for money or people shouting "Obama".
Feels like: mosquitos biting your skin, red ants attacking your behind, hands outstretched to touch you.
As I reflect back on the first day leaving CBU I was praying how I wish I could have been more prepared in my mindset, little did I know there was absolutely nothing that could have prepared me for all I witnessed, all I experienced, all of the strength and perseverance I was going to need . . .
Going into Gulu, Uganda the first thing we noticed was the amount of trash and huts there were. Everything you see on TV with children's enlarged bellies and sores galore is true. For three days I was in severe cultural shock to the fact that yes, people do live this way everyday.. in fact they don't even know a difference, this is life. As the trip continued a few days in, every one of us sat in disbelief that we came to serve, and yet we were being served. The fact that our skin color is different, gave us much attention. It was a very humbling experience for us to be looked at, called upon everywhere we went and to be served so well. In every situation we were served first, given soda, offerings and yells from anyone around us.
A few days into the trip we went into Northern Uganda, Nebbi.- Which is extremely close to the Congo. Going into the town we found out that there were 92 witch doctors living in this town. We were planning on walking around hut by hut sharing the gospel, showing the Jesus Film and playing with the children the following day. Little did I know, this place was going to change my life and outlook. Half of our team was split up into two groups. Joey and I were placed in a group of about 70+ children. We shared bible stories through a translator, after he asked if there was a bible to be given. Not knowing one was needed we said no, but at that moment, I knew what was to be done: give my own. It was a beautiful experience, because I KNEW this was my purpose at that exact moment. These people want to learn about Christ, they want to experience knowledge as well as zeal. It was God at work within me to give to them. I am at comfort to know that 200 people are now using my NIV study Bible because of the Lords timing and grace. It was so beautiful. I saw was in deep realization of how easily I take my own Bible for granted. Everyone around us out there wants to learn, be trained and have knowledge but Bibles are very scarce. They have to search to read, rather than us who are simply given and yet reject.
Throughout each day Galatians 5:6 and Psalm 73:26 rang through my head.
Galatians 5:6- " The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through faith"
Psalm 73:26- "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is my strength of my heart and my portion forever."
The fact that we cannot love expect through faith and that with faith we must love gives me such an understanding of how to carry out day to day life. Faith is Love. Love is Faith. But even greater than that, we cannot love or have strength unless it is by Gods power alone! I saw this first hand each day in Africa. My heart was failing. My flesh was failing. I saw some of the ugliest parts of me being revealed in simple tasks, and if it wasn't in the way I acted it was my hearts attitude. Whatever the case, God was showing me that we are imperfect, human, we struggle, we hurt but unless we are humbled to the point of true desperation we are cold.
A few other highlights for myself was when we went to the Disability School that worked with World Vision. We were able to meet children who were deaf, blind, mentally handicapped, broken limbs.. in other words the unseen. These children are misunderstood, typically the unloved "lepers" in the community. There was a sign outside of the school that said:
"Disability is NOT an inability."
I cannot describe how much of an impact this has on me. Whether you are blind, deaf, make mistakes, stutter like myself. It does not matter! We ALL have a disability, but through Christ, through his power, grace, love and our weakness we are able to use this as an ability. I cannot put into the words what all these beautiful broken children have taught me. I have a new respect for people in general, knowing we are all disabled. But through this, we have hope to use our weaknesses as a strength. We were able to go to a place called "House of Hope", The organization we were working for Favour of God, has 36 orphaned children living in this house until they are 18 years old. They are being raised as the spiritual leaders for the next generation. And let me tell you, they know more verses, more passages and a better understanding of prayer than I do. These nine and ten year olds blew my mind. Our last day with them they asked if they could pray over us. As nine of us got on the floor, humbled below them we had 36 beautiful hands of the Lord, four years old-up, praying for us. The amount of peace, respect and humility I had was explainable. These children know what it is to sacrifice, love, give.
As I reflect on my trip all in all and everything I learned I go to one simple quote Carol Vezey Oteka said:
"What is it worth to me to see more of Gods glory?"
I sit here and still ponder exactly what she said. I learned what it is to have true sacrifice. To be in the LRA (war in Africa - Invisible Children), in such desperation and grief but still praising our Lord who heals. To live off strictly rice and unclean water to survive, to go on a 40 day fast like it is nothing just so you wont miss out on more of what God could be teaching you. These people are radical. They live there life day to day, in prayer and petition. Not knowing what is next, not understanding why God says "no" at times but still in such dedication to living a life to proclaim his glory! I wish I could say we were able to move mountains and change peoples life, but they changed ours. and with this how can I not freely give, as I have freely recieved?
Returning home to America has been a tad difficult. It is hard to explain all I have experienced, or for others to understand. I get frustrated at everything our society tells us, and how unworthy we all feel by a simple Television show. This is not reality, this is not what life is about. I pray that I am able to remember every smell, sight and sickness I was able to see. To have the mindset that prayer is everything. All in all, God is at work in the Ugandan people we met. God is at work in the world, in men and women who strive to live for him. and with this.. How can we not praise him?
